I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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