I am in a vortex of obligation.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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