The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
