i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
