do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Found your dick twin last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
