I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
