The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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