she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish i was in the wii world.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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