I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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