What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
