i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
