I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
