i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
