Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So many bounce houses so little time
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
