Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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