dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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