You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this hospital has no fireball
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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