Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
