Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
