Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
