I wanna bring you to show and tell
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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