why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
