I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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