after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
