This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
