She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
