tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
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We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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