Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
