Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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