WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
