this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
