how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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