just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
