Dual....:-)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
