I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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