After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
