Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to make out with him forever
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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