i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize