just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
