I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
