so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
