No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
