Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She bit a glass in half.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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