I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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