Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
