Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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