Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
