Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize