a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just got carded by a ten year old.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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