Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
