no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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