I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize