i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
