This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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