RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
