At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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